Do you keep remembering a nasty or hurtful remark someone has made to you? 
Or about you?
And it is playing in your mind over and over again.

That’s when memory isn’t working well for you.

What can be done?

We asked Dr Allison Lamont, PhD, memory expert, if it is possible to remove a bad memory like this. 

Allison suggests this strategy.

  1. Be determined.
  2. Don’t allow that thought to play over and over, hurting you again each time.
  3. Acknowledge the hurtful memory, and say: ‘There it is again but I am not going with it today. I know where that thought is going.’
  4. Distract yourself with something much more positive.

True, it isn’t always easy to do but do persist.

Allison says

“If you do this each time, the thought will be lessen and will eventually fade away. Eventually you’ll be able to greet the person who made the remark without the flood of negative emotions and thoughts that originally came with the remark.”

Allison calls this calls active forgetting. 

‘You are forgetting to remember it every day. And if you do recall what happened to you, you will have let go the emotion that used to be part of the story.”

When you find yourself going back to the bad memory:

  1. Acknowledge that hurtful thought is there again
  2. Remember it is just a thought! A very familiar and unwanted one.
  3. Don’t focus on the thought – that gives the memory strength and power
  4. Take control – ‘I am not going to give it any space at all right now.’

Read the full published story here:



Dr Allison Lamont, PhD Auckland Memory Clinic

Do you have other suggestions or comments you would like to share with readers?